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Overcoming Fear: Achieving Confidence

By April 4, 2017 No Comments
achieving confidence

Further building on the already concrete foundations of the two previous posts(Confidence: A pertinent attribute and Fear: The nemesis of confidence), this discourse will be dedicated to general steps aimed at aiding individuals subjected to fear overcome it, and those not wanting to fall into its claws stay stronger.

Just to engage in a brief overview, I’d like to assume that the meaning of confidence and fear, as well, has been registered into our minds and also, the fact that fear can actually serve an impediment to the building of courage and confidence in one’s self and others, perhaps, as the case may be. Without further ado, I’d like to enumerate and briefly explain ways by which an individual can overcome fear and, or, escape its ever hungry claws.

– Accepting your identity

Some people subjected to fear, and fear of being neglected particularly, are most people who must’ve had to go through either a sudden or processed change in identity, however the case may be, but are finding it hard to accept the new reality they’re finding themselves in. It could be a traumatic change or a rather social one where the individual has to drop from royalty to ordinary, but the link between whatever form of change remains adaptation.

The individual’s ability to be flexible, to adapt to whatever situation, without choice, supposed to face as a result of this new reality the individual finds himself is essential in nature. This can be seen in the case of social change, mostly where an event led to the individual dropping from the high class to the middle class, or lower class, however the case may be. Such individual often finds it hard to relate with people of his/her new class as obviously, they aren’t of the same character, but he can’t help it, as he also finds it hard to relate with people of the high class as he doesn’t belong there anymore. Subsequently, after a chain of events, the individual can find himself in a situation of class “misidentity” where he can’t seem to fit in. The people of the middle class assume him too proud and the people of the high class don’t see him their type no more. Seclusion comes in and perhaps, inferiority complex. Once the individual chooses to accept he doesn’t belong to the class he left, whether by choice or force, he learns to accept and adapt to his new class and overtime, he’d understand their ethics and manner of conduct, if I neither understand you nor choose to accept what you stand for, how can I relate with you?. You fear what you don’t understand.

– Don’t respect people’s feelings at the expense of yours

As I have been made to understand, most people subjected to fear, fear of society particularly, are the ones who always think of how people feel with regards to whatever thing they do. They don’t care whether or not they derive pleasure, joy or happiness from whatever they do, left to them, once someone expresses his dislike for a particular thing done by they, regardless of how wonderful and joyful the thing is to them, they have a rather high tendency to quit it. This shouldn’t be so. The moment you live your life to please anyone, you’re never going to have a pinch of confidence when relating with the person you so much wish to please. The moment you decide to live your life for the pleasure and entertainment of others, you’ve decided to trade your self respect for nothing, and in the absence of self respect, confidence can never thrive. One way to gain your confidence and overcome fear is by first accepting your identity. You need not be exactly like that person you so much adore. That is why we are human beings and we are different. It’s okay to be weird. It’s okay to be yourself. It’s okay to be unique. Live your life according to your own principles. If whatever you are doing makes you happy and someone conditions your friendship or whatever bond on the basis that if you don’t quit that act, it’s the end, let the person go!

If you don't have inner joy or happiness, the outta one will never have any effect. Be yourself. Click To Tweet

– Make do with what you have

One mistake to never make in life, as you only have one to live, is to compare yourself with others. Don’t! The moment you see someone as an embodiment of all you want, you’ve lost your self respect towards that person and that’s the end. According, J Cole, I must add, “There's no such thing as a life that's better than yours Click To Tweet“. No matter how perfect and wonderful a person’s life might seem to be, there’s always one flaw making it imperfect. The reason why you’re not living exactly that person’s life is because you weren’t programmed to go through the life issues he is going through, so don’t envy him! You’d only be cheating yourself as you’d never appreciate what you have, no matter how good, and when around the individual, or his friends, and the likes, you tend to pay excessive respects he doesn’t even deserve, and then, before him, he has no reason to respect you, you’ve lost your sense of self respect.

Remember, without self respect, there can be no confidence. Click To Tweet

This is where I’d end the post for today. I don’t know if this has been of any help to you. There are still more ways of overcoming fear, and building confidence, but due to time and length, I can’t write them all. But then, if this post was useful and you want to get more tips, guidelines or ways, please go ahead and drop a comment.
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