Building on the foundation of the recently posted article on confidence being a pertinent attribute for anyone wanting to be a success in his or her career, with the three prerequisites; determination, persistence and courage, (read “confidence: A pertinent attribute“) , it’s with great pleasure I bring to the enlightenment of myself and, equally, the person reading this about the nemesis of confidence, which is fear.
I’d like to admit, to the very best of my knowledge, that fear is an entity that’s very much underrated and less understood. According to my survey, my personal survey at that, it came to my realization that patients subject to mental disorders, ranging from Madness to schizophrenia, all have an element of fear after them. If not ghosts, it’s hallucinations and the likes. Fear brings terror from within and often times, external help might be no help.
So then, what is fear?
Fear is a strong, uncontrollable, unpleasant emotion caused by actual or perceived danger or threat.
It comes in different ways and it varies, depending on the individual. To understand fear’s relation to confidence, one must have to understand the characteristics or attributes of fear, that is, things evident from people subjected to fear. Also, for the basis of this dissertation, only five of these characteristics will be under the spotlight and they are;
- poor social ability
- low self esteem
- inferiority complex.
All of these aforementioned characteristics are under one branch of fear which is by chance one of the largest branch I’ve seen affecting people, and that’s the fear of being substandard ( note: this is not the appropriate psychological term) which ultimately leads to loss of confidence, in everything, including one’s self. This particular form of fear is what makes an individual silent when others are talking, because, he or she feels there’s a high probability what he or she is about to say will be rebutted, even though correct. Ultimately, the person becomes shy because all the person can think of is the fact that he or she might not be up to the standard of whoever he or she is planning to meet, talk to or socialize with.
This leads to poor social ability, as the person might not, or will not, want to engage in any social activities for the fear of being labeled what he or she fears to be labelled “substandard”. This is exhibited by giving undue and overdue respect or apologizing excessively for something done which is not even wrong.
This further leads to a low self-esteem which impairs confidence the more as the individual doesn’t believe anything he does will be acceptable. Over time, even people less talented or precise in comparison to him are accepted by him and for every failure, the individual feels the blame alone is on him.
This further leads to seclusion. The individual decides some places aren’t meant to be visited by him as others do, the individual decides not to engage in particular activities and as time passes this becomes a way of life and ultimately;Inferiority complex kicks in.
Then the chart can be drawn thus: Confidence – Fear – Inferiority Complex.
So, I postulate, fear being the nemesis of confidence leads somewhere. it’s something every individual must battle, but there’s a price for either result. If the person overcomes, then the person has attained a level of confidence that can’t be snatched from him, but if he fails, he’s sinking down the sewer of inferiority complex, the worst state to be in.
How then can we overcome fear?
Stay posted. This will be discussed in the next post.